At Last!

It's been two weeks since I've been out of school.  While things have been a little slower, today was the first day I truly felt relaxed.  Despite it heat and humidity, I sat out on my deck and actually read an entire magazine from cover to cover.  It was dated October 2010 so I'm a bit behind on my reading, but it was enjoyable none the less.

And look who stopped by....

Just another piece of photographic evidence for those who don't believe in my albino bunny friend.

Family Mysteries

I've been absent for a bit.  The end of kindergarten took a bit bigger toll on me due to the attachment I formed with this particular group.  But summer is here.  While it seems to be filling up quickly, I'm looking forward to a little time to reconnect with all those things I love besides my job.

Last weekend, I was able to spend time with my mother and two of her sisters.  It's always great to spend time with them.  We went to the cemetary where my grandfather is buried.  It was the first time I had been back since my grandfather's funeral.  Right next to my grandfather's gravemarker were the gravemarkers of my great-grandparents.  Looking at the date, I realized my great-grandfather had been alive for the first three years of my life.  I couldn't help but wonder, what did he think?  Did he know me?  Was I someone he thought of or talked about?  It seems so strange to be a small part of this man's life when  have no recollection of him.

And then, I thought of my 6 year old niece.  She was a baby when my grandfather (her great-grandfather) past away.  We took her to see him in the nursing home.  We introduced her to her great-grandfather.  Although he was no longer speaking when this little blonde haired, brown eyed beauty entered his world, I like to think he knew.  He spoke so few words in his life, but he was oh so proud of his family.  I would like to think the birth of another little girl added more joy to his big, silent heart.

Some things will always be a mystery, but that doesn't mean I can't add my "happily ever after" twist to them.

Albino Bunny

This is my friend, Albino Bunny.  He is a little camera shy, so it may be difficult to truly appreciate his coloring.  Trust me, he is not like the little brown bunnies in my neighborhood.

Last spring, I discovered I had moved into a bunny friendly environment.  The rabbits were everywhere all the time. I even had to step in and save baby bunnies from the neighbor's cat once in awhile. 

And then I met Albino Bunny.  At first, I couldn't believe my eyes.  Here was this one bunny with more white to his coloring than brown.  He was rarely with other bunnies.  He seemed to choose to show up alone.  He never bothered the garden areas.  I stuck to the patch of clover instead.  He became a fixture for me.

Well, my friend is back.  Most mornings, he is out feeding in the yard when I leave for work.  The sound of the garage door and the car pulling down the driveway doesn't seem to startle him.  He simply continues feeding.  He returns most evenings to say goodnight as he feasts on his bedtime snack. 

I just hope he continues to keep me company for many years to come.

The Mystery of the Garage

For years and years and years, I lived in a little basement apartment.  I was okay with the home I had made for myself, but oh how I missed the opportunity to be outside!  Now that I have a house with an actual yard, I am overcome with joy.  The ability to be outside in the yard fills me with such happiness that I don't even mind mowing. 

But I've noticed a trend in my neighborhood.  These people with yards much nicer than mine spend all their time in their garages!  They open the doors, pull out the lawn chairs and sit in their garages.  One neighbor actually has a recliner and a couch in their garage for family gatherings.  I just don't get it!

I tried to rationalize this lifestyle.  Was it too hot outside?  No, it was a lovely 75 degrees yesterday.  Were they worried about damaging their prestine yards?  They have decks and patios and even driveways.  Do they enjoy watching the cars go by?  I live at the end of a cul-de-sac.  I can count the number of cars driving by in a day on a single hand.  I just don't get it!

If anyone out there can shed some light on this subject, I would sure appreciate it.  In the meantime, I'll be out cleaning the garage.  (If this sitting in the garage thing becomes a neighborhood rule, I'm going to need to do some decluttering!)

Love You More!

One day at circle time, this conversation took place:

Student:  We love you!

Me:  I love you, too!

Student:  But we love you more!

Me:  That's so nice of you to say, but I think I love you more.

Since then, it's been a lovefest in kindergarten.  Each day, they present me with new reasons why they love me more than I love them.  They tell me the love me more than recess, more than ice cream, more than all the chocolate chip cookies in the world. 

We become a big family during kindergarten.  We spend the majority of our days together.  We have experiences and inside jokes that belong to us.  They bond us together.  Sure, there are times when we fuss and argue, but we also take care of each other.

And now my little ones are in their final month of school.  It's that time of year when I wish I could just slow time down.  There are still so many things I want to teach them.  There are so many more stories for them to tell me.  There are still so many experiences for us to share.  We need more time.

But I can't slow time down.  For now, I'll do my best to fill their final kindergarten days with as much learning, fun and happiness as possible.  And when that final day arrives, I'll be the one at the door quietly whispering, "I love you more!"

Garden Therapy

Yesterday, we moved my grandma into a nursing home.

She had been in assisted living.  She knew this move was going to happen.  She had seen the room she was moving to.  The dementia made her forget.

I sat their holding her hands, sharing her tears, trying to make her understand.  Trying to make things okay for her.  Trying to make things okay for my own mother as she tried to take care of her mother. 

We found things to smile about.  The bathtub she loves.  Discussions on spunkiness.  A visiting dog.  The picture of her with her five daughters.  She seemed to calm down and relax a little.

I went back today.  I saw her in clean clothes, sitting in the main room, still confused, but not agitated.  We talked for a bit and then she sent me away. 

It's been a tough couple of days.  Wishing I could do more, but knowing I'm doing all I can.  Knowing she is confused, but knowing she is safe and being well cared for.

So I came home and planted twenty dollars worth of flowers into the ground.  I know it's too early.  There's still a good chance of a final frost.  But the time spent playing in the dirt and calming my own mind is well worth the twenty dollars I'll have to respend to replant those flowers.

Admitting Is the First Step, Right?

I'll admit it.  I am a control freak.  It's not that everything needs to be done my way.  It just needs to be done correctly, preferably on my time schedule. 

I've reached a point where I can finally admit I can't do everything by myself.  Oh, it's so hard for me to admit that.  It actually pains me to admit that.  Let's not dwell on this admission too long or I may reconsider.

With new recognition comes a new challenge--delagation.  I have to be okay with other people being responsible.  More importantly, I have to trust that all will be okay in the end.

I took my first steps towards delagation this week.  I passed two tasks to two different individuals. 

In the first case, I kept checking with other people to see if the task had been accomplished.  It did get done eventually, but all the waiting made me anxious!

The second situation was a bit easier for me to handle.  This person sent me text messages looking for my input and actual photos for my approval.  It was quite a relief after my earlier experience.

So much for me releasing my need for control.