For some, it's that awkward period between Christmas and New Years. For me, it bonus week! I'm trying to convince myself that there are things I should be doing, but the relaxation (ok, lazy) factor is winning.
A new year is certainly a chance for all of us to start over. Make a fresh start. But this year is different for me. It's a celebration of the last six months.
In June, I took big steps to figure out and "fix" what was wrong with me emotionally, physically, and mentally. I wasn't in a horrible place. I was just ready be feel happy again. And it's working.
I let go of resentment from my past. I take responsibility for things, but I also know that other's took advantage of my need for approval. They were able to tell me I couldn't do things, or that my decisions were not okay. They were able to manipulate me to do things when I didn't want to because I didn't want to upset anyone.
I learned what it means to be assertive, but not mean. I learned to listen to myself first. I learned that other people's opinons should never dictate my life. As Iris in The Holiday (my signature movie said) "I should be the leading lady in my own life! I symbolically made this happen by standing up for myself and going on my first solo vacation.
I went through a lot of testing and medication to find out what is going on with my body. A syndrome that there is no cure for, but it's not life threatening, especially if I take steps to follow a gluten free/low glycemic diet. It's been tough but not impossible. Now I have add the dreaded exercise aspect of this......
But I learned that I wasn't crazy. I learned to listen to my body even when no one knows what is wrong. I learned that some of the health/body issues I've been so frustrated about really are not my fault.
Learning about this syndrome also helped me mentally. Knowing that some of those body issues I struggle with are not my fault has gotten me one step closer to accepting myself and dealing with those body image issues.
I learned to dress for the body I have, not the body I wish I had. I've learned to start looking in the mirror again. I can only do it for very short periods, but it's a step. And I've learned that the only thing holding me back in finding confidence in my appearance is me.
I'm still working on all of these things, but I have come a long way. So as we get ready to change the calendar, I'm choosing not to think of it as a new year. My new year happened one day in June. I made "resolutions" for myself and I've kept them. But my work is not done. I get another six months to work on those resolutions.
So I will go and help celebrate the changing of the calendar, but my New Year's Eve will be in June.