Saturday, December 27, 2014

Happy Half Year!

For some, it's that awkward period between Christmas and New Years.  For me, it bonus week!  I'm trying to convince myself that there are things I should be doing, but the relaxation (ok, lazy) factor is winning.

A new year is certainly a chance for all of us to start over.  Make a fresh start.  But this year is different for me.  It's a celebration of the last six months.

In June, I took big steps to figure out and "fix" what was wrong with me emotionally, physically, and mentally.  I wasn't in a horrible place.  I was just ready be feel happy again.  And it's working.

I let go of resentment from my past.  I take responsibility for things, but I also know that other's took advantage of my need for approval.  They were able to tell me I couldn't do things, or that my decisions were not okay.  They were able to manipulate me to do things when I didn't want to because I didn't want to upset anyone. 

I learned what it means to be assertive, but not mean.  I learned to listen to myself first.  I learned that other people's opinons should never dictate my life.  As Iris in The Holiday (my signature movie said) "I should be the leading lady in my own life!  I symbolically made this happen by standing up for myself and going on my first solo vacation.

I went through a lot of testing and medication to find out what is going on with my body.  A syndrome that there is no cure for, but it's not life threatening, especially if I take steps to follow a gluten free/low glycemic diet.  It's been tough but not impossible.  Now I have add the dreaded exercise aspect of this......

But I learned that I wasn't crazy.  I learned to listen to my body even when no one knows what is wrong.  I learned that some of the health/body issues I've been so frustrated about really are not my fault. 

Learning about this syndrome also helped me mentally.  Knowing that some of those body issues I struggle with are not my fault has gotten me one step closer to accepting myself and dealing with those body image issues. 

I learned to dress for the body I have, not the body I wish I had.  I've learned to start looking in the mirror again.  I can only do it for very short periods, but it's a step.  And I've learned that the only thing holding me back in finding confidence in my appearance is me. 

I'm still working on all of these things, but I have come a long way.  So as we get ready to change the calendar, I'm choosing not to think of it as a new year.  My new year happened one day in June.  I made "resolutions" for myself and I've kept them.  But my work is not done.  I get another six months to work on those resolutions.

So I will go and help celebrate the changing of the calendar, but my New Year's Eve will be in June. 

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful!!! Happy Half Year to a Whole and Healthy You!